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I have put off this topic for long enough and I am telling you now, this one could get a little too good… This one the boys are going to absolutely hate, but the men will appreciate. That was a freaking bar!! Anyways, the topic I present to you is casual dating. Which is basically friends with benefits. It is also talking. Hooking up. Messing around. There are a couple of other ways to call it, all basically falls under casual dating. Dating is just too serious of a label, so basically you do everything you do when you’re dating but you can’t call it dating. It is genius, I know.

Also known as, the only dating I have ever done and have absolutely outgrown. This could low-key turn into a rant, but know that it is just because I care and want to save you the heartache. I am not proud at all of the fact that I have never truly allowed someone in or at least to the level of an actual relationship. I am also not proud of the fact that I used to downplay serious relationships. This is just me being entirely transparent and letting you know that you do live and learn. It is never too late, and it is the very lesson I want to share with you all today.

So here it goes…

In all honesty, growing up, keeping it casual was something I would have never even considered. Not even for a second… I mention hallmark movies a lot, and that is because, as cheesy as they are, I love them. I am the ultimate hopeless romantic. I believe in all the roses, romantic getaways, grand gestures, love letters, pretty much all the bells and whistles. I just love, love. However, I did get humbled by life and the world along the way. So much so that there was a time when the idea of anything associated with love made me want to vomit. I would date guys, but not allow myself to get any more serious than it needed to be. I hate to make it sound as ugly as it was, but guys were just my temporary fix.

I was in a dark place for a long time. I would say that I fell into it a few years leading up to my parents’ divorce, and boy, did everything go downhill from there. I was in pain, and guys were the distraction to ease it from time to time. But ladies, let’s be honest with ourselves… We all know that at the end of the day, all we want is affection, attention, appreciation, and love. And in a time where we want it the most, we will compromise our worth to try and get even a little bit of it.

For the most part, I take ownership for the things that I have done in my life, especially with something as intimate as dating, and who I choose to date, and how long or how far I let the dating go, and with deciding to keep the dating casual. But sometimes I can’t help but think of who else is to blame for my influence on casual dating. I started to think about how the times have changed and how the people have changed. How we have normalized this “hookup culture.” We have lost value in meaningful relationships. We have lost the value that we have for ourselves.

We sleep around. We date multiple people. We lie. We cheat. We say things we don’t mean. The list goes on, and you can’t even entirely blame us because it is what you hear in the music today, what you see in the movies, shows, and social media… Ohhh, don’t even get me started with social media. And soon this AI stuff is going to blow up, and then I guess we are going to normalize dating robots. But I am going to shut up before I get myself canceled instead of casual dating. I just mean to emphasize the point that relationships today are at such a superficial level, and it is because we don’t value them or ourselves.

We romanticize toxicity, and we bring it into our relationships, thinking it is all one big game. When in reality, when you are in a relationship, it is an exchange of energies. This is why it really does matter who you choose to spend your time with. Furthermore, there are soul ties, and if you just keep having that with a bunch of people, you are going to be left with nothing. So, stay picky and always look beyond what just meets the eye. Who cares about what they look like or what they do or how much money they make or if they have a blue check? None of that means that they are going to be there for you when you need them the most. Our relationships should mean something, and at the very least, so should our time.

Which is why I present this topic to you and not to everyone as a whole. We can’t allow ourselves to just keep it casual because I will tell you right now. We do not live in a movie, and nothing good comes out of it. We are fabulous and honorable women, and true gentlemen are going to value that. As for the boys, just continue to let them do boy stuff and go on with your life. You will be better off, I promise.

As always, God bless all of you ladies. Have a fun and fabulous weekend! 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋